Sorry Team Jacob members, but vampires are, hands down, the sexiest of monsters. Beautiful, elegant and cool on the surface, a roiling pool of undeniable hunger beneath, vampires are Alpha Man to the nth degree. Ever since I read Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire at the tender age of 14, vampires have been the personification of sex in my mind. They exude that perfect combination of menace and desire, and they represent the highest of romantic ideals: Union with a vampire requires the ultimate sacrifice – your life.
Below is a list of my fave celluloid and paper-based vampires. Did I miss anyone? Please add him!
Lestat (Interview with the Vampire):
I’m talking Anne Rice’s creation, here, not Tom Cruise in a yellow wig. Unpredictable and magnetic with a voracious appetite that he rarely denies, Lestat is wicked beyond forgiving, and we love him for it. The way he lures his victims to their sensuous demise is hot, but nothing compares to his seduction of his protégé, Louis.
Louis (Interview with the Vampire):
The perfect foil for Lestat, Louis is the conscience to Lestat’s flagrant hedonism, the cool reason to his violent passion, the love to his (blood)lust. While Lestat is undoubtedly Alpha, Louis is the tortured poet of the vampire world, the dark soul who, with the right love, from the right woman, can be turned to the light.
Bram Stoker’s Dracula:
The original blood-sucking baddie, Dracula is creepily intriguing, but it is Gary Oldman’s portrayal of the count that I’m thinking of. The way he seduces Mina’s bestie Lucy in the garden before turning his attentions on wife-look-alike Mina is undeniably hot. However, it is the subtler scene where he persuades Mina to try absinthe that showcase his true powers of seduction, leading her down a path with no way out but submission to his desires.
Jerry Dandridge (Fright Night):
If you didn’t see the original Fright Night (1985), and you’ve got a thing for vampires, you must. Chris Sarandon as the something’s-not-quite-right-about-him neighbor is chilling and charming in equal measure. Okay, you’ve got to ignore the eighties hair and shoulder-pads, but the way he eats an apple would make any woman wish she were that piece of fruit.
David (The Lost Boys):
Oh, the fantasies this film inspired in my (then) virginal teenage hormone-saturated mind. Jason Patrick AND a hot Kiefer Sutherland together in one vampire movie? It was almost too much. While Jason’s character Michael was a nice piece of eye-candy, it was Kiefer’s bold and aggressive David who really had my knickers in a twist. And the little sparring dance that Michael and David did that bordered on the homoerotic? Hot, indeed.
Maybe this indicates a major flaw in my character, but Edward Cullen was only sexy while he was sleep-stalking Bella and avoiding her by day. While he was out-of-reach and vaguely hostile, he was hot. Once he revealed his true feelings for Bella and it came out that he was a peacenik who shunned human blood for politically correct animal prey, he became as sexy as mud.
Watch this space for May’s Free Erotic Romance Short. It features two sexy vamps battling it out for an innocent ingenue. Coming this Wednesday!